Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

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So Batman has a lot of dreams that look like trailers for movies DC are planning on making. That’s weird. I still can’t get behind a Superman so fucking angsty, desaturated and gritty. What the holy fuck were they thinking when they hired Snyder to tackle Superman? He’s well suited to Batman though. Affleck’s Bruce and Bat scenes are highlights. Really love the Dark Knight Returns design of Bats. The movie suffers from that problem of cramming way too much stuff in without actually finishing a coherent script. The plotting and character motivations in this thing are just ridiculous and brain-numbing. I really don’t understand the shortcomings in that department. It’s unforgivable. The way they totally miss the point of so many key DC characters is insane. Amy Adams is such an amazing actress so why is she playing such a bland, nothing version of Lois Lane? DC and Warner are so behind Marvel at this point and had so much riding on this movie that I genuinely have no idea why they wouldn’t take their time to write a screenplay that made sense and had a legit plot with characters you could fall in love with. Despite having a title as bombastic and ridiculous as Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice they couldn’t even be arsed giving me an epic title card! Instead the words just fade in the same as every other credit. What the fuck? Pet peeve, sure, but that sucker deserved a fucking splash page.

Snyder is actually responsible for some of the film’s better chunks. There are individual frames that look straight out of a comic book and his understanding of the material on that level is good. I just don’t get why he didn’t throw the script back at Goyer and Terrio until it was in good shape. The only real pleasure I got out of Batman v Superman was the fact that…hey I’m watching a movie with fucking Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman in it! Wow. And uh…against all the odds I actually enjoyed Eisenberg’s interpretation of Lex. If he had better lines to work with he could have been even better. Yes he was annoying as fuck and borderline Carrey-as-The Riddler but he was the only thing on screen vaguely unpredictable. That counts for something. Christ, what a fucking mess. Now please DC and Warner, you have the rights to the most famous comic book characters OF ALL TIME, please stop sucking!

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