Detour (2016)

Ugh. A derivative, bland Tarantino/general cool-guy genre knock-off that is about twenty years out of date. A movie so dumb and “clever” that its big structural rug-pull had absolutely no impact on me whatsoever as I didn’t even realise I was supposed to see it as anything other than what it was (like, imagine watching The Sixth Sense knowing full-well Bruce Willis was dead and once the film makes a big deal of revealing it you ask “oh, I wasn’t supposed to know that?”) Stupid. I also hated Smith’s film Triangle for the exact same reason. The dude is British too. Stop letting me down!

The sting of Detour is even more painful given it has two great young actors with faces made for the big-screen – Bel Powley and Tye Sheridan – but I’ll be damned if this material isn’t so far beneath them. I must admit though that there is something cheaply entertaining about seeing Powley be knowingly fetishised as a blonde stripper called Cherry. She’s clearly enjoying dabbling in that territory but again it proves to be a total waste of her time and talents. You’ve also got Emory Cohen giving an obnoxiously tone-deaf and irritating performance mainly consisting of him shouting the half-assedly stylised dialogue at everyone’s faces. The fact Smith even had the audacity to have Sheridan’s character at one point watching Edward G. Ulmer’s legendary noir Detour on TV made me want to punch the fucking screen. Terrible, terrible, terrible. I aint got time for this shit.

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